Coping With A New School

A new school can be a grand adventure or something you dread, depending on how you look at it.  And it does depend on how YOU look at it.  For tips on how to make the prospect of a new school less of a problem, read on.

 

·         Visit Before You Start - People often fear what they don’t know.  Go with your parents to your school before you start and have a look around.  You may be able to get your teacher or principal to show you around.

·         Keep In Contact With Old Friends - If you have moved a short way from your old school, it shouldn’t be hard to keep in touch with the friends that live near you.  If you’re a long way from your old school, letters or emails may be the key!  (Don’t forget you’ll have lots of new friends though).

·         Not Everything Will Change - It’s only the school that is changing, not you!  There will probably be people around you that are into the same things as you.  They shouldn’t be too hard to find either.  The more people you meet with your interests, the better you’ll feel about your new school.

 

 

 

Repeating A Year

From time to time it happens: a student stays behind to do the same year of school again.  A student can feel worried or upset about this if they haven’t got all the facts.  It’s nothing to worry about though.

 

Why Do People Repeat A Year?

For a start it’s important to know that letting a student repeat a year is never a decision that is made lightly.  All sorts of factors are talked about, between your parents, your teachers and your principal.  It’s a serious decision but at the end it’s all to help you.  YOU are the one they are thinking of.

 

The most common reasons for repeating a year are:

·         You are too young to be in the year that you are in and an extra year will help you grow and develop.

·         You have been sick or away for most of the year and you need to catch up on the work you have missed.

·         You are having problems learning the work and an extra year will help you catch up.

 

Very rarely do you stay back for just one of these reasons.  Sometimes it’s a combination.  The biggest question that is asked before deciding to let a student repeat a year is: “Will repeating a year help the student?”  If the answer is “yes” then repeating a year is the best thing to do.

 

 

Dealing With Repeating A Year

Watching your friends move on to a new class can make you feel sad when you’re repeating a year.  You may feel embarrassed or ashamed that they’re moving on and you’re not.  At times like this it’s good to have an adult you know and trust nearby to talk to.  They’ll help you to sort through these feelings (which are perfectly normal) and deal with the changes.

 

Remember though that your old friends aren’t leaving you for good; you’ll be able to see them before and after school as well as lunchtimes.  What’s more, you’ll be able to introduce them to the new friends you are making with your new class!  It can be pretty exciting making new friends while still keeping the old ones.  So don’t sweat it!

 

 

Bullying

Bullying is a common problem that happens to many people: young people and grown-ups.  Bullying is when people hurt or upset you by being cruel, threaten you, physically attack you, call you names, spread rumours about you, make you look silly or even just ignore you.  Dealing with bullying is always hard!

 

There are no easy or right answers. You can tell someone, run away, stand up to the bullies or just give in.  All of these actions have their own consequences and you have to think carefully before trying any of them.

 

What does bullying mean?

There are two main types of bullying:

 

Bullying that tries to scare or hurt you:

·         Hitting you or threats to beat you up.

·         Threats to hurt your family or friends or pets.

·         Making you do things you don't want to.

·         Locking you up.

·         Putting you in scary places.

·         Stealing or taking things from you that are yours.

 

Bullying that tries to make you feel small or stupid:

·         Calling you names.

·         Making fun of you.

·         Making you look stupid or unimportant.

·         Ignoring you, and trying to get other people to ignore you.

·         Bossing you around all the time.

·         Spreading rumours.

 

Girls often do more of the bullying that makes you feel small.  Boys often do more of the bullying that scares or hurts you. However, most bullies do a bit of both these types of bullying. 

 

Can brothers and sisters be bullies?

Of course they can.  It is important to remember that brothers and sisters normally fight, make threats, boss each other around and take things away from each other.  This is pretty normal if it’s just within the family - but it can be become bullying if one person gets picked on all of the time.  If you think that your brother or sister is bullying you, especially if it continues at school and they get their friends in on the act, talk to your parents.

Can grown-ups be bullies?

Yes, grown-ups can be bullies - sometimes even your relatives can bully you.  Parents and teachers are supposed to tell young people what to do a lot of the time. If someone is telling you what to do all the time and it makes you feel scared, uncomfortable or sad and you think this is unfair, tell another grown-up.  It is very hard for young people to stand up to grown-up bullies.

 

Are you a bully?

All young people have sometimes called other people names, started a rumour, picked on someone smaller than them, or left someone out of a group.  This is all bullying - but you are not a bully if you do it once and then stop because you feel guilty and realise it is wrong.  A bully is someone who keeps bullying someone - even when they realise it is wrong and know the other person is hurt.  Bullies also pick on one victim until either they’re bored with them, their victim doesn’t respond or their victim works out a way to deal with bullies, then they move onto a new victim.

 

 

Understanding Bullies

It’s important to try to understand why people are bullies so you can deal with them.  Bullies should also read this - it might help you stop.

 

Bullying a little or treating other people badly occasionally is pretty normal - and most of us have bullied someone a little at some time. However, usually we feel very guilty about treating someone else badly and never do it again.  Bullies don't feel guilty, and start to enjoy making other people feel bad.

 

 

Why do bullies do it?

·         Making other people feel scared or small makes bullies feel better.  This is because most bullies feel scared or small themselves - and they find that they feel stronger and tougher if they make other people feel small and scared instead. 

·         A lot of bullies have been bullied themselves - so they want other people to suffer like they did. 

·         Many bullies have a tough time at home, and feel they are unimportant or stupid.  They bully others to make themselves feel important. 

·         Some bullies start bullying by mistake. However, they suddenly find that bullying others makes them popular, so they continue bullying to stay popular.

·         They are also afraid if they don’t do the bullying, someone else will bully them and they will become the victim.

 

 

Tips for Dealing with Bullies

·         Don't believe what bullies tell you.  You are not weak or stupid or unimportant, even though being bullied makes you feel like that.

·         Remember that being bullied is not your fault. However, how you react can stop it happening again.

·         Avoid the bullies and avoid being in places alone with just the bullies.  If you have to meet them, try to make sure other people are around to see what happens.

·         Try not to show that the bullies have upset or scared you.  This is hard to do, so practice it with your friends. 

·         If it’s just name-calling, jokes or little things, try ignoring the bullies or do something to settle the situation. If this doesn't work, tell your parents or a teacher.

·         If you are being made to feel small, find other friends and have fun with other people.

·         If the bullying is threats of physical violence (being beaten up), it can be dangerous to stand up to them.  Giving in or running away can keep you safe.  However, definitely tell a grown-up or it will keep going and you might get hurt.

 

Teachers & You

Other than your parents or carers, no single person will have as great an influence on you as your teachers will.  And, like all people who are close to you, you can like or dislike them, they may inspire you or they may not evoke any sort of feeling from you at all! 

 

Here are some feelings and worries that can surround you and your teachers.

 

 

 

Talking About Teachers

Because of the position that they are in, a lot of things are said about teachers.  Here are some of the silly ones:

 

Teachers Are Aliens

You often hear jokes about teachers coming from another planet but strangely enough this isn’t really true!  Like all people, they have good and bad days, have friends and family, enjoy movies, make mistakes and have favourite things they like to do.

 

What’s more, they’ve heard all these jokes before.  Some even find them funny!  I wouldn’t push it though, because teachers have feelings too.

 

 

Teachers Have It Easy

Teachers have it pretty easy.  All they do is get up in front of the class, talk a lot and then give you the work.  Right?  Wrong!  Teaching is a tough job!  They work long hours (much longer than you do); spend a lot of time preparing and grading work.  Teachers spend much of their time out of class continually discussing and looking at ways to improve what and how they teach you. 

 

They do all of this while making sure they follow the wishes of the curriculum, the principal, your parents as well as each of the student’s individual needs. Who said teaching was easy?

 

 

 

 

Teachers Don’t Teach You Anything Important

Sometimes you can be sitting in a classroom thinking to yourself “Why am I being taught this?  Do I really need to know this?” This can upset some people, thinking that school is wasting their time.  But is this true?  When you or others feel this way, it’s good to remember:

 

·         A lot of the time it’s not the information that’s the important part of what you learn.  Doing a project on dragonflies doesn’t just teach you about dragonflies.  It also helps your reading, note taking, summarising, writing and presentation skills, all of which are far more important to you than your knowledge of dragonflies. 

·         Sure, there may be one or two topics that you may never use outside of school, but that may be only you.  Other people in your class will use the information in their lives.  While you’re there, you should learn it too.

·         How do you know what isn’t going to be handy later on in life?  If you lead a long and healthy life most people will finish high school with over three quarters of their life still to live.  Also, most people change jobs three or four times in their life.  It’s important to have a broad range of skills.

·         What’s wrong with learning something?  Learning helps you understand the world around you.  That’s GOT to be good.

 

 

 

I Think My Teacher Hates Me.

If this is the way you feel, you’re not alone: many students at some time or another feel that their teacher has taken a complete dislike to them, that they favour other class members to them or that, if a group of students are all doing the wrong thing, they always pick you first. 

 

If you’re focusing more on ‘You vs. Your Teacher’ than the work you’re supposed to be learning, this is not good for you.  You’re going to have to work things out.

 

Can A Teacher Dislike Me?

The truth is that it can happen, but not very often. 

 

Believe it or not, your teacher is a person too and, like all people (yourself included) they have personality clashes with other people.  Perhaps the pair of you have parts to your personalities that rub each other up the wrong way. 

 

Of course things usually aren’t that simple.  It’s often the case that there are a lot of things going on. 

 

Does My Teacher Dislike Me?

The quick answer is: Don’t know.

The long answer may be found by answering these questions - honestly.  Pick a time when you aren’t upset or angry with your teacher and can think calmly over what is happening in the classroom.

 

What is your teacher angry at: you or what you are doing?

If the teacher is upset about something you are doing in class, then it’s hard to believe that they dislike you personally.  Usually the teacher will be upset at you for doing something that is either stopping you or other people from learning.  You can’t blame them for that.  That’s what you’re there for.

 

 

 

Is your teacher rough on you, or on the whole class?

Look around.  If it’s a large number of people who are being treated the way you are, it may not be you personally the teacher has a problem with.

 

 

Is this happening all the time, or every so often?

If this is happening to you occasionally (say, once a fortnight) and not every day, chances are your teacher does not dislike you.

 

 

 

 

Are you really doing your best?

This question you have to be very honest with.  Can you do better work at school than what you are doing?  If you can do better and your teacher knows it (and they usually do), then you only have yourself to blame.  Teachers are there to help you learn.  They WANT you to get the most you can out of your time in the classroom.  They can’t help you if you choose not to learn.  Once again, they may not dislike you, but they may dislike what you are doing (or in this case not doing).

 

Are you worrying too much?

From a teacher’s point of view, there is a sea of faces looking up at them from their desks while they are teaching.  They help each student where they can and give praise to those who they think have worked well.  Sometimes a student will do something wrong and they are helped with their work.  A usual day, they think.

 

From your point of view, it may seem like the teacher is talking only to you.  They went around and gave other kids praise, but when they got to you, they criticised your work and made you feel like a fool.  However, when you talked to your friends, no one else felt the same way.  They thought everyone was treated pretty much the same.

 

So what happened?  It may be that you don’t react well to criticism.  Perhaps you are so worried about how you are going, that anything said by the teacher that isn’t perfect will make you explode!  You may just be having a bad day.  There may be any number of reasons but the most important thing to remember is that teachers are there to help you.  There’s no shame in taking that help.